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When Your Husband Doesn't Help With Baby Because He Works - Bullabaloo

When Your Husband Doesn't Help With Baby Because He Works

Motherhood is a full-time commitment, one that often stretches beyond the confines of a typical working day. If you've been feeling like you're managing the bulk of parenting duties alone, you're not the only one. Here's a closer look at bridging the divide between work and home roles.

Round-the-Clock Mum vs. Day Job Dad

Being a full-time parent is a joy, but it's also a role that never truly 'clocks out'. On the other hand, your partner might be bound by set working hours. Feeling exhausted and looking for support? It's time to delve deeper.

Unpacking the Real Reasons Behind His Hesitation

Jumping to conclusions won't help. Instead, let's look at some reasons he might be reluctant:

  1. Childhood Influences: Family traditions play a significant role. If he's been accustomed to seeing specific gender roles in his childhood, he might just be operating on auto-pilot.
  2. Pride in Providing: For many men, their job becomes a primary identity. They feel their main contribution is monetary, overlooking other vital responsibilities.
  3. The Fear of the Unknown: Babies, especially newborns, can be daunting. Maybe he's anxious about doing something 'wrong' or not living up to expectations.

Steps to Cultivate Shared Responsibilities


  1. Solo Time for Dad and Baby: Hand over the baby baton to your partner once in a while. Whether it's for a quick coffee run or an afternoon out, giving them alone time can work wonders. It might be chaotic initially, but they'll eventually find their rhythm.

  2. Empathy Goes a Long Way: Switch perspectives for a moment. Your partner might be struggling with the demands of his job and feeling out of depth at home. A calm conversation can help in understanding each other's viewpoints.

  3. Rethink Priorities: Perhaps you've been trying to juggle too much, hoping he'll pitch in. Maybe it's time to let go a bit. Leave a few tasks for him, making it clear that you both need to share household responsibilities.

  4. Draft a Housework Blueprint: It might sound a bit formal, but a structured approach can help. Decide the 'who does what' in advance. While you manage certain tasks, he can take over others, ensuring neither feels overwhelmed.

  5. Micromanaging Isn't Always Helpful: If he's not swaddling the baby the way you do or cooking differently, that's okay. Every parent has their own style. Embracing these differences can reduce friction.

  6. Professional Guidance: Persistent issues might benefit from professional counselling. Therapy can offer a neutral ground to discuss, understand, and resolve conflicts.

The Changing Landscape of Parenthood

The societal landscape is rapidly evolving, with more fathers keen on being hands-on. The journey might be filled with bumps, but open communication, understanding, and a bit of planning can make it smoother.

In the end, both of you are teammates in this beautiful journey of parenthood. Nurturing mutual respect and understanding can lead to a more harmonious home environment for everyone involved.

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